From the mouth of players 2016

[Blackandwhite]

Youth game yesterday. Sweep, 8 yard for a new 1st.
Quarterback starts to yell: "Helping the runner", guard and tackle joined him.
 : "No,  not in my view. And you would not like that call to be made".
QB: "Why?"
Assistant Coach ten meters away:   

[yarnnelg]

I finally got to call one. Tackle comes around upfield, reaches back, grabs the runners jersey and pulls him forward about five yards. Jersey must have been stretched about six feet when I fired the flag. His coach was laughing so hard there were tears running down his face. " Coach, need to work on the technique a little better." "He missed that practice!"

[BrendanP]

"What are you blind?"

"Only when I don't have my contacts in."

[Legacy Zebra]

With about 30 seconds left and Team B trailing, the defensive tackle swatted the ball during the snap. When the coach was informed why he was being penalized, he tried to claim that the bat was not during the snap, but after it was in the QB's hands. That was, of course, until the head linesman reminded him the offense was in a shotgun formation.   

[chriscwilson]

Heard three times this year already.  "But I can throw it away outside the tackle box."  Three varsity games this year, six intentional grounding calls.  Watching too much NFL.

[yarnnelg]

With about 30 seconds left and Team B trailing, the defensive tackle swatted the ball during the snap. When the coach was informed why he was being penalized, he tried to claim that the bat was not during the snap, but after it was in the QB's hands. That was, of course, until the head linesman reminded him the offense was in a shotgun formation.   

Mine was..." No wonder you guys can't see! You all wear glasses!"
I stepped back and commented over my shoulder.
"Coach you have on glasses too."
"OMG! I'm as blind as the rest of you!"