Football Officiating > War Stories
“You guys are killing us”!!!
Kleiny:
SETTING: several years ago, tournament game (early round), rainy, team A is winning by three or four possessions...
Team B Coach: you guys are killing us!
Crew Member (who will remain anonymous😁): no, sir...your defensive coordinator is killing you.
SETTING: youth league game, typical angry parents (dad) drifting a little too close to the field...
Angry Dad: you’re absolutely terrible! what a joke!
Official (again...anonymous😃): sir, I’d give you one of my extra “reffing shirts” so you could come out here and help us with your expert and unbiased knowledge of the game, BUT ALL OF MY SHIRTS ARE UNFORTUNATELY ONLY MENS SIZES.
SETTING: semipro football, a player in street clothes begins harassing the officials (much to the chagrin of several teammates), he’s clearly a joke (even in the eyes of his coaches)...
Player: man, that’s bullsh#t! I could do better than you blindfolded!
Official (yep, anonymous😁): well, as soon as you sober up then come on out here and get to work!
Etref:
SETTING
Small school varsity game
Coach (who I knew from previous games) “that was the worst call I have ever seen”
Me: “ I know coach, I would have run a draw play”
Coach- dies laughing and just walks off!
yarnnelg:
District Rivals. One point difference. 54 seconds on the clock. Pass down the opposite sideline. My Head Coach "Ray did you that?" "See what coach?" "You didn't see that play?" "I had receivers in my zone coach." "I know what's wrong, it just dawned on me! You all wear glasses, blind as bats, everyone of you." I took a step back ..... "Coach you wear glasses too!" "OMG, I'm as blind as the rest of you!" "Seeing Eye Dogs are in the locker room, Coach."
Ralph Damren:
Sometimes, off the field, coaches aren't always screamers ;D. Several years ago, while Christmas shopping with my wife, we ran into a screamer coach and his wife. After a chat that involved football, the wives both said : "Why don't you guys go have a beer, we've got some shopping to do! :o " Our discussion went sorta' like this.......
COACH : "I'm buying eAt& !"
ME : " NO, that could be considered a bribe :) ,I'll buy :D ."
COACH : " You know, for every mistake you guys z^ make, we make ten :!#. "
ME : AYUH, if you say so ,coach, ;D "
COACH : " Difference being. we remind you of yours :D "
ME : "Ayuh, 'spect so :P "
COACH : "When did you start officiating ? "
ME : " In Maine, 1972...."
COACH : "WOW, that was the year I started coaching, too :!#!"
........fast forward to pre-season coaches' clinic ....
COACH : " Here's a 1972 rule book. My athletic director gave it to me and told me to read it. I didn't and told my AD not to bother buying any more, as that's the job of those guys in stripes :) . I felt where you read it , you otta' have it yEs: ."
ME: "AYUH, yEs: thanks. "
........forward to season opener..I had his game......
HE WAS STILL A SCREAMER tR:oLl :puke: tR:oLl :puke: (4-MAN COACHING CREW)
MORALE OF STORY :COACHES ARE HUMANS, TOO......UNTIL THE OPENING KICKOFF
tiphat:
JasonTX:
Hey Ralph, for us southerners, how exactly do you pronounce, "Ayuh" ? That's been bugging me a while. ;D
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