Reflections on season two

[BrendanP]

Season one was more of a whirlwind as this was so new. Season 2, well this year was rough. For the first time as an official, I was in the stripes when we had a serious neck injury, an backboard/ambulance ride variety. I happened to look up and see the kid's parents in the stands, his mother crying. That was rough.

There were even a couple off-the-field incidents that made me seriously consider hanging up my whistle. All in all, season two was far more stressful than season one, and I can now honestly say I understand why so many associations have retention issues. It takes a special person to do this for 30 or 40 years. Seemed like my tendency to be seen and not heard didn't help things either.

I'm pretty sure I'll be back for a third year, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has gone through this internal dialogue.

[theunofficialofficial]

I can relate. There are a lot of things at the end of a season that sometimes you ask yourself why would I ever think of doing this again next year? But after you hang up the whistle at the end of the season. You sit back relax through the holidays and come next year when dues are up you think to yourself of all the good memories of being out on the field under the lights on a Friday night and you pay so quick you don't even remember all the yelling and screaming parents and coaches.

Keep at it, if you truly love what you are doing all that other stuff falls away.

[HLinNC]

Keep at it, if you truly love what you are doing all that other stuff falls away.

Agreed.

Take those moments, consider them, did you play any part in any of them?  If so,  what do you think you could have done differently?  If not, what could those others maybe have done differently that you can remember and learn from?

You are still climbing.  The "comfort" level is probably another 3-4 years away.

[DallasLJ]

 I have always told people that do not officiate that my experience has been that if you officiate for 3 years, you generally do not stop, unless work or family force an issue.  Those 3 years tend to weed out those that think "oh, this might be fun" from those who come to appreciate what it is we do on Friday's and the important role that we play.

  This was my 24th year -- and I hope to go another 26 years.

[Rulesman]

A former crew mate was fond of saying "Most fun you can have with your clothes on."

[GAHSUMPIRE]

BrendanP,

I understand how you feel, and I think that internal dialogue is healthy. I have had the same conversation, but I have learned to do it BEFORE the start of the next season, rather than immediately following the end of the current season. As the Unofficialofficial mentioned, give yourself some time and distance from this season, allow yourself to unwind and think objectively about the situation.

There is no need to decide right now.

Being a good official takes a great deal of commitment of time, energy and resources, and though I am not sure of your family situation, it can add stress there as well. No one can tell  you if it is worth it but you.

For me, there absolutely have been times where I didn't think the sacrifices required came anywhere close to the benefits gained. But at the same time, I can tell you without hesitation that the benefits I have gained through the association with people who share my passion (and frustration) are unmatched anywhere else.

I have been an official for 15 years. Due to work and family considerations, I had to make the decision to drop out of calling high for a while. And though I don't miss a lot of the crap that goes along with it, there is not a Friday night from August to December that I don't think about it.

For me, the thing I miss the most. the thing that keeps me wanting more, isn't actually the game. It's the feeling I used to get from about 7:00:00 PM to 7:29:59 PM. When you first walk out on the field, after my white hat and I talk to the coaches and complete our pre-game duties, my white hat and I would take a walk around the field. The smell of the fresh-cut grass, then the smell of popcorn popping in the concession stands, the bands start playing, cheerleaders start getting the crowd excited. The sensory overload that occurs. There was usually a moment during this time I would stop and just to try to soak it all in and think, there is not another place I would rather be than on this field right now.

I love the game, don't get me wrong. But it's that time with my white hat and the guys on my crew, and that feeling of anticipation that I have never been able to replace. Boy do I miss that.

[VALJ]

Brendan, at the end of every season I have a period of wondering what's coming up next year, and if I want to do it again.  As others have said, I've found that I'm better off waiting a little while to gain some distance and perspective, especially if I had a rough game or two at the end of the season.

With two years in, trust me, the best is yet to come.  I found that I wasn't TRULY comfortable on the field until about year 4 or 5.   After two years, you're still young an an official, and you still have a lot of learning that's coming up.  So far, I've always found that in the end, I've enjoyed being on the field much more than not, and that the positives overall outweighed the negatives.

[AlUpstateNY]

 Seemed like my tendency to be seen and not heard didn't help things either.

I'm pretty sure I'll be back for a third year, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has gone through this internal dialogue.

Actually your, "tendency to be seen and not heard didn't help things either"., may give you a distinct advantage.  Most of the commentary bandied about on, and around, the playing field turns out to be emotional fueled smoke that is often better left ignored (at least the initial outburst).  Resisting the natural tendency to quickly respond can be a blessing.  You get to decide if, when and how YOU CHOOSE to respond.

As you're finding out, there really is a LOT of know, understand and react to and it simply takes time and experience to grasp.  Surprises are a never ending part of this practice, and the more you learn usually only points out how much is ALWAYS still needed to learn and understand.  That's part of what keeps this exercise interesting.

An awful lot of people enjoy watching the excitement of a football game, very few get the opportunity to be inthe game, for as long as we choose.

[DallasLJ]

An awful lot of people enjoy watching the excitement of a football game, very few get the opportunity to be inthe game, for as long as we choose.

 

[Ironhead17]

It's not for everyone. Other sports are a great deal more trying that this one.

 

[BrendanP]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was just put off by the actions of a few individuals, and all in all, I really do enjoy what I do, and I'm not going to let a couple idiots ruin it for me. I'm one of those guys whose hobbies come from opposite ends of the spectrum-Thursday nights I'm a football official, the other six evenings, I'm a writer. 

[ncwingman]

I remember after my second season, I was left with a particularly bad taste in my mouth for one reason -- coaches.

I never had any issues with the games or the kids or the fact that I knew I needed to improve on seeing plays and focusing on keys (etc.), but I had a few particularly bad experiences with belligerent coaches towards the end of the year that were just ridiculous. One in particular just set me off for a few days after the game, and it made me rethink if I wanted to do it anymore.

Ultimately, I used it to try and better myself into not letting things like that bother me. I figure, if I can handle coaches who are trying to be willfully ignorant arguing against the world's most obvious holding call, I can handle just about anything life can throw at me. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better.

[VALJ]

Thinking back, my last memory from season two was a sour one, also.  I had a 5 man game out in the country as LJ, and during the pregame, my R asked me so many rapid fire questions about not only my mechanics but every other position's on the field that by the time we took the field my confidence was so totally shot that I didn't know which way to go.  I had the worst game of my career to that point that night, had him waive off a couple of flags I threw, and couldn't get any help from him on anything.  I seriously thought about hanging it up, until I realized that I'd worked with so many other vets who did what they could to help that I wasn't going to let one jerk push me away from what I was loving to do.

I've only worked with him once or twice in the 12 years since then, and if I never work with him again, it will be too soon.

[Ralph Damren]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was just put off by the actions of a few individuals, and all in all, I really do enjoy what I do, and I'm not going to let a couple idiots ruin it for me. I'm one of those guys whose hobbies come from opposite ends of the spectrum-Thursday nights I'm a football official, the other six evenings, I'm a writer. 

As a writer, Brendan, you should have fun writing some interesting posts. IMHO, your first year of officiating is sorta' like your first game of golf/tennis/(fill in the blank) . Everything is a whirlwind and you are scrambling to do the best you can. In your second game (season) you become angry for not remembering everything and being disappointed at not being as good as the seasoned player (official). It will take time to reach that level, so please try to be patient. This a hobby where you need to grow a thick skin. Try to understand that the screeching fans and ugly coaches are voicing their discontent at the ogre that just threw a penalty flag or called their kid out of bounds. It will take a while to zone out their sound, but it will come. Every officiating chapter will have a few "gloomy doomers" that will be griping at your work --don't listen to them but listen to those who will be happy to offer constructive advice. Hope you stick with it, Brendan, and hope you'll keep us up to date on your progress.
                                                           
                                                      Ralph

[NorCalMike]

I may have a different perspective than many people. I find the games I work to be some of the best times in my life. I am a firefighter and most days I see tragedy. Friday nights I get to go hang out with a bunch of 17 year old kids who at that time only care about the game. As an umpire I spend a lot of time dealing with the players. I like to crack a few jokes see if I can get them to laugh. I find it pretty relaxing.

As far as the crap off the field, do your best to ignore it. I usually say about 10 times a season when whatever controversy pops that I just here to work football games.

I always feel good when I get home and I am tired and sore.