Stuff You Hear From Da Coach: 2015 Edition

[ncwingman]

3rd and 2. A is just trying to ensure the first down to keep a long drive going, so the QB starts a hard count and changes cadence. It almost works, as the defensive line flinches, but doesn't encroach (not even close). Guard A57, however, flinches in response to the defense flinching.

 

A's Coach -- "Yea! Offsides! First Down! .... Wait, why is it on us?? The defense flinched first!!"

 

[bigjohn]

Jim Harbaugh last night wanted the ball at the yard line where the FG was missed, He was a bit confused, I have heard a few HS coaches say this, I just look at them and SMH! 

[HLinNC]

2014 flashback- "He called timeout when he didn't have any, that's a 10 second run-off"

[Martin Kiff]

Classic Harbugh, out of time outs in the third quarter.....  If a coach spends most of the game bitching try this.  Wait until he calls a time out and ignore him.  As he starts screaming "TIME OUT!" Turn and acknowledge  him.   When he yells at you for not hearing him tell him calmly that because of his whining you had to tune him out in the first quarter.  His look will be priceless.
Other good lines:
"Coach that is excellent rule knowledge of the National Football League"
"Coach, please save a bullet or two for when you need it."
"Be careful Coach, the only reason I'm out here is to get some community service hours."

[bigjohn]

OH  so you are THAT GUY Martin!!
 

[bulldogs1msu]

best line from a coach that I have heard.  Coach yells, Go back to your real job at Footlocker.  I had to laugh at that one.   

[yarnnelg]

Want to know the craziest? It actually drives you nuts.

Dixie Hollins assigned an Assistant to yell how great I was doing on every play. "That was a great spot!" "This guy's the best we've ever had!" Every play, by the end of the first half I was sick of it.

Years later Seminole with no wins in three years vs. StPete number one in the nation. Before the coin toss I nailed the Assistant Coach and Head Coach for two separate USC's. Haven't decided which is worse, a sideline with a voice yelling how great you are or a sideline that won't talk to you. At halftime I asked the HL to switch because I was getting real lonely.

[SCHSref]

Had a sub-varsity game the other day on the practice field.  There was not a restricted area marked on the sideline.  They had these set up on the sidelines



I just told the coaches to please stay behind the numbers.  They all agreed.

Well, they started creeping in to that restricted area.  I hollered out, "Coaches, I need the sideline" and one of the assistant coaches (I reckon the Get Back coach) started hollering, "Everyone get behind the numbers!  I guess that is a rule now!" 

[AlUpstateNY]

best line from a coach that I have heard.  Coach yells, Go back to your real job at Footlocker.  I had to laugh at that one.   

You could also suggest that reminding you again will earn him a 15 yard discount.

[riffraft]

I am back on B's 30 with A punting from A's 20. Punt is blocked into the end zone. one of B's player goes to recover it, bobbles it and then recovers it. Our Ref signals TD. I come running up the sideline for the try. I get to end of the team box and an assistant coach came up to me upset and says B recovered it beyond the end line. I told him do you really want me to call that from 80 yards away.

You really have to wonder sometimes. 

[Wingmanbp]

Had a coach at a varsity game tell me. "I cant believe you didnt see that holding behind you" I said coach, Think about what you said. Then he said "oh crap, nevermind" lol