In my state at the high school level, targeting is a 15-yard penalty, and it's only to be called when a player leads with and initiates contact with the crown of the helmet to the head of another player.
That is not correct.
NFHS has two types of illegal contact involving the head.
The first is illegal helmet contact which falls under 9-4-3-i:
ART. 3 . . . No player or nonplayer shall:
i. Initiate illegal helmet contact. (butt block, face tackle or spear)
NOTE: Illegal helmet contact may be judged by the game official a flagrant act. Acts that may be judged to be flagrant include, but are not limited to:
1. Illegal helmet contact against an opponent lying on the ground,
2. Illegal helmet contact against an opponent being held up by other players, and/or
3. Illegal helmet-to-helmet contact against a defenseless opponent.
The second type is targeting, which falls under 9-4-3-m:
ART. 3 . . . No player or nonplayer shall:
m. Target an opponent.
Definitions for both are found in rule 2-20-1&2:
ART. 1 . . . Illegal helmet contact is an act of initiating contact with the helmet against an opponent. There are several types of illegal helmet contact:
a. Butt Blocking is an act by any player who initiates contact against an opponent who is not a runner with the front of his helmet.
b. Face Tackling is an act by a defensive player who initiates contact against a runner with the front of his helmet.
c. Spearing is an act by any player who initiates contact against an opponent at the shoulders or below with the crown (top portion) of his helmet.
ART. 2 . . . Targeting is an act by any player who takes aim and initiates contact against an opponent above the shoulders with the helmet, forearm, hand, fist, elbow or shoulders.
Your example above has both acts in one foul but that is not exhaustive. A spear to the chest is illegal, as is a shoulder to the head of a player. The NFHS targeting rule is actually stricter than NCAA's 9-1-4 in that it does not require a player being hit to be defenseless but it is less punitive in that there is no automatic disqualification.
In my opinion, NCAA 9-1-4 is worded clearly and there is little left to interpret with the change that the contact be forcible. I have no problem with the automatic disqualification because of the way replay is designed to provide a backup to the call.
The area where there seems to be a breakdown is between IR and the on field officials. How to fix that is beyond my pay grade and I'd be surprised if it were not already being looked at. One potential way to address it is to involve the calling official and the IR official in the discussion and if necessary, make somebody the tiebreaker. I'm sure there are technical and logistical impediments to that idea but it's worth exploring IMO.
I do know that the way to fix this isn't to get rid of the DQ, it is to improve the coordination between the booth and the field.
Alternatively, the NCAA decides that things are fine the way they are despite a few loud posters on RefStripes and continue on with the way things are.