Many times, I've heard the coach tell the captain that 'we want to DEFER.' Defer is such an odd word outside football, and many times the kid has not heard that word before. He just heard a 'D' word. 'Def .... something'
Now, when he loses the toss and the other team defers, he says the only 'D' word he can think of 'Defense'. Sounds like what the coach said.
So what I do is I ask the winning captain: Do you want the ball now or for the 2nd half kickoff?
If he says anything other than 'We want the ball', I tell him, 'You want the ball 2nd half, right?'
If he deferred, I tell the other team 'you're getting the ball. Ok?' ... then let the other team choose the direction they're defending.
I put an 'X' next to the team receiving the kickoff on my score card. No reason to write 'won' and 'defer' for one team, then 'lost' and 'receive' for the other team. Why anything more complicated, unless the teams DO choose different options.
Now, if a team is adamant they want to kick, or choose a side to defend as their first option, I'll try to talk them out of it. If they still want one of those options, I'll explain it to the coach. Only after all that will I allow a team the possibility to kick twice. But it will be very apparent that this is what they want.
Starting a game on the wrong foot can impact the rest of the game, especially the start of the 3rd quarter and the remainder of the half. We look like jerks. I had a few games where referees have done this when I was on their crew. 'A teaching moment' they said. It was chaos the 2nd half. Not fun. Don't make problems if you don't have to.