From the Mouths of Coaching 2012

[NorCalMike]

Now that the season has begun, I believe it time to post the inane comments from the coaching staff.

Tonight, QB scrambles then throws the ball out of bounds just had the defensive catches him. No receiver in the area. WH throws the flag for IG. Defensive player had the QB wrapped up as the QB releases ball and tackles him. First the coach tries the "He was in the grasp." When that didn't work he tried saying it was roughing the passer.

[Roscoe]

the uncatchable on a pass interference has come up a few times.

[NorCalMike]

Today during my freshman game, one of my flanks throws a flag for face mask. I asked him if he had the 5  yd minor or the 15 yd PF. He replies 5 yd. We administer the penalty. Coaches on the offended team are going nuts. I tell the HC that it was only 5 yd penalty as there was no twisting or head movement involved.

Asst coach says to me, "What rules are you using. This is high school. I was an official for 4 years and there is no such thing a 5 yd face mask penalty." I wanted to say "Hope your a better coach than an official" but not want to baited, I just shook my head and walked away.

[DallasLJ]

No 5 yard FM in NCAA / Texas HS anymore.  That must be what he was thinking.

[Roscoe]

Oh yeah I remember an incident a few weeks ago. We had a running play for a first down. After the play we had a personal foul on the offense. So we administered the penalty from the end of the run, reset the chains, 1/10 ready to go. The defensive coach was absolutely going nuts because he was screaming it should be 1/25.  I calmly try to explain to the coach that on a dead ball penalty following a first down, the proper procedure is 1. Mark off the penalty 2. Reset the chains. He didn't think that was "fair" and started rambling about how that doesn't actually penalize the team that committed the foul. Well coach if you'd like me to I'll take the ball and put back down the field 15 yards...jeez.

[RMR]

Last night we had a staff that didn't understand how a punt, touched by R, that then rolled back behind the LOS and recovered by K could possibly then belong to K.

And then when it was explained, the response?

"Since when?"

[Jason Kramer]

Last night we had a staff that didn't understand how a punt, touched by R, that then rolled back behind the LOS and recovered by K could possibly then belong to K.

And then when it was explained, the response?

"Since when?"

Am I missing a detail? How is this K's ball after the play is over? I know they can kick it again, or throw a pass, or whatever, but it's not 1st and 10 for K, is it?

[BankerRef]

Am I missing a detail?

touched by R

The touch by R was beyond the neutral zone.

[maven]

Am I missing a detail? How is this K's ball after the play is over? I know they can kick it again, or throw a pass, or whatever, but it's not 1st and 10 for K, is it?

If R touches the kick beyond the NZ, whoever ends with possession will have a new series.

[Jason Kramer]

Blurg. Me no read so good.

[NorCalMike]

No 5 yard FM in NCAA / Texas HS anymore.  That must be what he was thinking.

Maybe, but I doubt it. I think he just thinks being an assistant coach for a freshman football team makes him more of an expert at the rules than me. 

[brew95]

In a Freshman game, K lines up and attempts an onsides kick but the ball only goes about 5 yards.  R picks up the ball and runs.  K coach "He can't return that! the ball didn't go ten yards!"

[Roscoe]

In a Freshman game, K lines up and attempts an onsides kick but the ball only goes about 5 yards.  R picks up the ball and runs.  K coach "He can't return that! the ball didn't go ten yards!"

ha, that is great!

[clearwall]

Had an offensive formation where the lineman on the end of the line was covering up the most outside interior lineman:

19         54 78 65 62 67 89         11
   81               10
                      22

Sort of like this. Play call usually was a draw play and #89 would run down the seam, 11 would block straight up and 22 would run around the right end. For 3 or 4 plays, I kept hearing "HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA LET THEM DO THAT BEFORE YOU CALL INELIGIBLE MAN DOWNFIELD???"

[BNE-Ref]

QB hands off to RB (also 2nd string QB), then takes off downfield.  RB passes to the QB, who completes the catch for a long gain and 1st down.  Screaming coach yells that the QB was an ineligible receiver downfield, and calls for a coaches conference.  Cost him a timeout.

[zhntr]

Me: "Dead ball, illegal snap, offense, 5yd penalty, still 1st down" at the nines pretty much right in front A's coach.
Coach: "WHO'S IT ON? WHAT NUMBER? YA GOTTA GIVE ME A NUMBER!!!!"
Me: "Coach, the illegal snap was on your snapper"
Coach: blank stare

I don't think he really understood...

[HLinNC]

Screaming coach yells that the QB was an ineligible receiver downfield, and calls for a coaches conference.  Cost him a timeout.

Would have loved to have been in on that conference.

"He's ineligible!"

"He's a back- check"
"He's got an eligible number- check"

"Conference is over coach, play stands".

[Roscoe]

Had one happen tonight with a coach on defense screaming from the sideline - "THEY BROKE THE HUDDLE WITH 12! THEY BROKE THE HUDDLE WITH 12! THEY BROKE THE HUDDLE WITH 12! THEY BROKE THE HUDDLE WITH 12!" Coach they can break they huddle with 18 as long as 7 of them run off the field immediately. He was then informed of the high school rules regarding the subject

[HLinNC]

Now Roscoe you know good and well what they said was "Dey broke duh huddle wif twayulv, dey broke duh huddle wif twayulv.

[Roscoe]

Now Roscoe you know good and well what they said was "Dey broke duh huddle wif twayulv, dey broke duh huddle wif twayulv.

Well if he had been a NC coach would it have been more like "*banjo playing* THEY BROKE DUH HUDDLE WITH 8!! HEY CLETUS, I REALLY CAN'T COUNT TO WELL, IS THAT 8 OR 12? *more banjo*" 

[Tom.OH]

Had an offensive formation where the lineman on the end of the line was covering up the most outside interior lineman:

19         54 78 65 62 67 89         11
   81               10
                      22

Sort of like this. Play call usually was a draw play and #89 would run down the seam, 11 would block straight up and 22 would run around the right end. For 3 or 4 plays, I kept hearing "HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA LET THEM DO THAT BEFORE YOU CALL INELIGIBLE MAN DOWNFIELD???"

Had a similar play a few years ago in a JV game but it was a pass play. Visitors are 20+ points ahead and had the third team in. I am the LJ and as the ball is snapped both go down field. The coaches are screaming Ineligible down field, 89 is down field, you gotta flag that. QB is scrambling and finally threw to 11 who made the catch. As the ball was in the air I threw my flag ,the coaches yelled about time, we have been telling you since the play started. I told the R what I had and went back to the sidelines and the coaches are still complaining about the late flag. I told them it was not a foul until the ball was thrown, they backed down and said oh yeah.

[maven]

Well if he had been a NC coach would it have been more like "*banjo playing* THEY BROKE DUH HUDDLE WITH 8!! HEY CLETUS, I REALLY CAN'T COUNT TO WELL, IS THAT 8 OR 12? *more banjo*" 

I've heard that the toothbrush was invented in NC. If it had been invented elsewhere, we'd be calling it a "teethbrush."

[Roscoe]

the coaches are still complaining about the late flag.

I know it shouldn't be common practice, but if I have a situation where I believe a foul occured, I don't care how late the flag is, it happened. For example, I had a defensive hurdle a few weeks ago. It was so unusual looking that nobody threw their flag. Trust me when I tell you it was strange. The play ended on an unsuccessful FG try and then the crew came together to discuss what we just saw. We determined it was in illegal hurdle and so our white hat tossed his flag up and gave the signal and explanation. The coach started freakout out about how late the flag was. Yeah it was late, but the foul still occurred.

[StripedOutlaw]

I had a good one in a JV game last week.  QB scrambles and gets sacked on the last play of the first quarter.  LB piles on after the play and I flag him for DBPF.  After we assess the penalty we switch sides and I go to the sideline to get a drink.  Coach wants a first down because it is a personal foul.  I explain that isn't the high school rule and tell him that the roughing penalties are automatic first downs.  To which he says, "Well it was my QB that he hit late, so that is a roughing the passer."

[HLinNC]

Now Roscoe, you know our drawls ain't that far apart.  The only 8 man football I know of that is played around here is some private schools, home school teams, and School for the Deaf.

The Chattahoochee runs through Georgia, not NC!