Kicking ball situations in my career- 2.
#1) Visiting Ballboy hands me a punkin' on 4th down, I hand it back and I chide both of them for handing me an unapproved ball. I suggest that they put it away in the ball bag for the rest of the evening. Next 4th down for the visitor's, here comes the punkin' again. I toss it back and tell them it best not reappear.
An assistant overhears the conversation and inquires what the problem is so I explain. He grabs the ball, pulls out a pocket knife, and stabs it 2 or 3 times.
AC then asks "did that solve your problem?"
"Well, uh, yeah, I guess it does."
#2) Halftime is winding down and the visiting kicker starts to head out with a ball he was warming up with. Our U had already picked one up and was waiting for K to come out to the 40. I call for the kicker to come back and tell him there is already ball out there.
K- "But I need this ball."
me- "Why?"
K- "Its my kicking ball"
me- "Lemme see it." (enter bloated, faded, ball with the feel of soft suede) "Sorry bud but this ball isn't approved."
K- "But its MY kicking ball"
Coach- "What's going on?"
K- "He won't let me use my kicking ball"
C- "Why can't we use that ball?"
Me- "Its not been approved, Coach, and my umpire already has a ball, let's go"
C- "But its our kicking ball."
Me- "Fine, but it better be the first ball I get on your next offensive series."
C- "Son, go put the ball up."