Humor
The starting QB at _______ is declared academically ineligible. Coach ______ goes to the principal and begs for another chance so the QB can play against their archrival, ________. The principal agrees if the QB can answer one question correctly he will make him eligible for the big game.
The coach rapidly gets the QB and returns to the principal’s office where the principal asks, “Tell me son, how much is 6 + 7?”
The QB thinks for a while then responds “10.”
The principal shakes his head and looks at the coach who immediately proclaims. “Give him another chance! He only missed it by one!”
________________________________________________________________________________________
Two arch rival coaches find themselves involved in an automobile accident. They each get out of their cars and approach each other. The coach from ________ says, “hey look, we are both alive and the damage to the cars is nothing compared to our health. Let’s put aside our petty rivalry for a moment and be thankful.”
The other coach from ______ says, “You’re right. I have just the right thing to toast this moment.” He runs back to his car and reaches into the glove compartment and returns with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two plastic glasses. He fills them both with whiskey and offers one of the glasses to his long time nemesis. Coach ____ takes the glass and raises it and says “this is mighty nice of you considering I’ve kicked your butt five years in a row now.” He then chugs down the drink and notices that his rival hasn’t even sipped his drink yet and asks, “Aren’t you even going to drink yours?”
Coach ____ smiles and replies, “Oh yes I will. Right after the breathalyzer is given.”
_________________________________________________________________________________________
The big animals were always bragging about their physical prowess. The little animals had had enough, so the game was on.
A football game was agreed upon as the method of combat. The big animals kicked off. The elephant tackled the lizard on his 30. On the first play, the hippo tackled the monkey before he could handoff. On the next play, the giraffe intercepted the pass and returned it for a touchdown.
This went on throughout the first half resulting in a 49-0 halftime score.
The little animals kicked off again. Again the centipede was the star, intercepting a pass and running it into the end zone for a score. This turnaround continued through the 3rd and 4th quarters and the little animals had gained a 56-49 lead, and went on to win the game.
The little animal coach turned to the centipede and said, “Hey, you had a stellar game, but where were you in the first half?”
“Coach, I was tying my shoes.”
